5 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

I used to consider myself smart. In random off-set ways. Like not test taking skills that’s for sure as I would analyze every single answer and could argue why each one could be applicable. (SAT’s were not my strong suit) But I could always read people, know what worked in the way of the world, and wrote some great essays that got me by in life. But all of that gets thrown out the window when becoming a mother. It’s like you slip into another skin and look at the world completely differently. Don’t get me wrong, brain fog sets in and you almost feel dumber because some days your vocabulary is only a few words repeated or songs that speak to toddlers. But we as mothers take on a new kind of smarts.

I think about the ways I have grown since having children and try to apply that when setting an example for my children every day, as they truly make me want to be a better person. I want to show them to be a good person, not because a belief and any kind of rules told you so, or because you are scared not to. But because you want to be. So as I constantly analyze how and what I want to teach them through osmosis or in actual lessons, they are teaching me a few things about life. This is what I’ve learned so far from these 2 angel nuggets:

• Life is too short, don’t sweat the small stuff. This is something I have to work at every day when it comes to messes, especially crumbs, getting dressed, the exact schedule I wanted to have for something, etc etc etc. But what motherhood has taught me is that in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter! I will always always always remember this commercial (I think it was a commercial) that I saw of the mother and daughter and each of their perspectives. We see the mother’s day through her eyes and it involves rushing, stressing, spills, crying, and just exhaustion when out and about. Then it shows us that same day through the daughter’s recap and she talks about the adventures they had and how much fun it was. I will never forget this as it helps me autocorrect myself if I get too stressed about something dumb.

• Swallow your pride – this is something that is key in marriage/motherhood and strangely made me aware of, as I didn’t think I was a prideful person before. But I’ve seen Jackson be upset over something and all he needs to make it right again is words. This is an example we have run into in our house. Sometimes when I’m being strict, I have snapped at Jackson and it affects his entire mood and disposition. I have also been working at what parenting strategies work best with each child’s personality (I’m currently reading The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle and I’ll update you once I’m done). Even though Jackson is in the wrong for not listening or misbehaving, he has taught me that all he needs is an apology exchange. A lot of times he will initiate it, saying ‘mommy I need you to say you’re sorry’. So I do even though sometimes I’m still annoyed (or not needed if being strict and he is mistaking that for mommy being ‘mean’) and feel like in the past, would just shut off and internalize it to later not even deal with an issue. I will apologize and Jackson will say ‘it’s ok’ and he is corrected and ok again. And of course this works both ways for him. I will ask him to apologize and when he does, he tells me ‘mommy, say it’s ok’. Then he is receptive to a conversation and feedback on what we are doing and why. Children have more grace and heart than anyone. They truly start out so pure and they learn through what they see every day.

• Patience. I have learned that I am extremely patient when it comes to the kids, something I never realized about myself before. And of course there are moments they test my patience, but Robert and I read this excerpt one time and it has stuck with us ever since. The gist was to not measure your children and their knowledge of the world by your own experience. You have lived a full life and they only know a few years. They also only know what they see or what you teach them. So you can’t hold them to your own standards. Come down to their level and try to see the world and understand it through their eyes, and then try to work with them from there. I work at this a lot to remember that their interpretation is much less educated than ours, so much that it’s more simple than we make things out to be. They question every little thing and why, so it’s very interesting to break life down to the basics that we as jaded adults don’t really think like anymore. But try it and it is somewhat refreshing. Kids don’t hold grudges (until later I’m sure) and are so happy go lucky over the most simple things, it continues to remind me what is truly important in life.

• Pick your battles. This can obviously be applied to everything in life. What I have learned in this department, is that most things are not a big deal. I’ve pretty much realized what I’m going to hold strong with when it comes to parenting style, and everything else be pretty lax about. I know I’m going to always push for a healthier lifestyle. I monitor sugar intake and the kind of sugar almost obsessively. Although this is extremely important to me, I’m not going to let rules rule our lives. So sometimes, if we are at a birthday party, I’m going to let them have it. They don’t need to feel like the weird ones or left out, because it’s just not that big of a deal! Robert and I have also learned we are pretty go with the flow. If there is something special going on, a party, a last minute play date, a spontaneous family outing, we just pack up pajamas and toothbrushes on the go. Not being strict on routine has allowed our kids to be flexible in most situations. Don’t be fooled though, I’m sure it has hurt us in the sleeping department. But that is something we can live with because our kids our happy.

• Take the candid messy pictures. So before kids and even when I’m in blog mode, it’s all about the perfect shot. Whether it’s to frame or share on social media, or for me, when working with brands. But when going back through my camera roll and all the photos taken through the years, the ones I love the most are the every day shots like time just froze in that moment. No one is posed, no one is even looking. But being able to have those shots bring back so much nostalgia and it’s so fun seeing the kids in their natural disposition from whatever age we are looking back on. I’ve been doing this for the past year through my IG stories and mainly because I save it all and compile it into small videos for our family’s archives. The kids also love looking back on old little video snippets. I am the one always doing this so I’m never in any of the candid shots or videos, so I definitely need Robert to help me with this!

I’ve also learned, you learn new things from your journey in parenthood every day, and you constantly have to adjust, try new ways, grow from experiences, and make most of situations. I have always been pretty YOLO with my mentality mainly because I always think I’m going to die in a plane crash, but when applied to motherhood, you truly want to enjoy the years as they pass through so quickly. This is why in the craziest of crazy moments, tantrums, chaos, mess… Robert and I will turn to each other and say ‘Isn’t this just livin”?! And that has become our official family motto, I hope you can try it too!

Photos by: KVC Photography

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